What stands between you and your career best, your entrepreneurial dream, your retirement home in the islands?

Is it the person you report to or the loan officer at the bank?

Perhaps it’s those colleagues who just can’t seem to put in a good word for you when you most need it, or the distraction of continual demands from family members?

Often, your adversary is closer than you think. Often, it is someone very familiar. Often, it is you. To be specific, it is the negative and fear-based thoughts, emotions and resulting behaviors that come from you.

An experience I had several years ago provides a metaphorical analogy. My husband and I had gone to dinner at a popular restaurant in a touristy section of Chicago. After dinner, we walked to our car to head home. As we approached our car, which was parked on the street, we noticed a very strong, almost nauseating smell. We immediately figured that someone had placed something on our car as a prank, or some animal had used our car as a pit stop. We checked the tires, the front and back of the car, but couldn’t identify where the odor was coming from. Since nothing was visible, we got inside the car and drove off.  Inside of the car we noticed that the smell was even stronger. I looked in the back seat, under the seat, but still couldn’t find anything. We checked the bottom of our shoes. Had we stepped in something?

Finally, after several minutes of conversation, it dawned on us that the pungent aroma we were both noticing was the oysters Rockefeller that had lingered on our breaths after dinner. The culprit was right under our noses!

This analogy characterizes human nature in that we often look outside of ourselves when things go awry. On closer examination, however, we often discover that we are protagonist and antagonist rolled into one. What gets in the way of our goals and aspirations is often the negative emotions, thoughts, and ongoing, uncensored monologue taking place within our heads. All this leads, all too easily, to doubt, procrastination, self-pity and fear of failing. This evil twin of ours comes out, particularly, when we are trying to embark upon a change in our lives.

Kally Reynolds, life coach and president of Renaissance Journeys, has a straightforward explanation for how he has been able to experience phenomenal growth in his career. “I guess it’s because I never make a case against myself,” he says. “ We’re all too quick to make a case against ourselves.” No need to do that, he adds: “The world will do it for us.”

Reynolds suggests that the evil twin undermining us is often a scared little girl or boy inside who does not want to get hurt again and withdraws out of fear of ridicule, not measuring up, or other humiliations.

Yet our opinions of ourselves are so frequently lower than the perceptions others have of us. We may have a poor opinion of our capabilities and potential, though this may not be picked up immediately on the radar of our colleagues and associates. Sooner or later, however, if we continue to think in this way, it will be projected outwards and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Others will see us as we see ourselves.

Turning off the Life Support and Creating New Thought Patterns

In order to maximize progress toward your career goals or – any goal, for that matter – and move past fear and self doubt, you must commit to quieting the troubled voice within. Les Brown, the motivational speaker, often says, “If you want to keep getting [out of life] what you are getting, keep doing what you’re doing.” One can take this a step further to “keep thinking what you’re thinking.”

While you may be excited about pursuing a dream, you may also feel a bit anxious and worried. The voices inside of your head can be your worst critics in your pursuit of new horizons. These voices and the strong emotions that accompany them awaken you in the middle of the night, shouting out that the odds are against you, demanding that you work out every possible scenario before making a move — and they keep you up all night! How do you turn them off?

Is it possible to just stop thinking? This is easier said than done! Given that nature abhors and rushes to fill a vacuum, you will need to replace old, negative thoughts with new, constructive ones. Beware: your old familiar thoughts will be kicking and screaming louder than ever, once they find out you don’t want to nurture them anymore.

Many individuals find it helpful to silently repeat affirmations of what they want. When negative thoughts creep in — “I’m too old/too young/ not connected enough to take on this venture,” for example – simply switch them over to positive thoughts: “I have life experience to bring to the table/fresh ideas/willingness to network with others.”

Others things you can do to internalize and sustain positive messages include seeking out and learning about success stories of individuals who have made their way, particularly when the odds were against them. This helps to reinforce new thought patterns that say, “It’s possible. Conditions outside of me don’t have to be perfect. I can do this!”

Research suggests that it takes 21 to 30 days to form a new habit. The three R’s – repetition, reinforcement and reward — will help you build and sustain new thought patterns and, subsequently, new behaviors.

Eyes on the Prize

Keep your thoughts focused on what you want to achieve and create a mental and physical environment that helps to reinforce these thoughts. It helps to create a clear picture of what you think success will look like. What is your goal? Picture it, verbalize it, feel how it would feel to reach it. Who’s in the picture with you? Who is not? Bring this image to mind every day and refine it.

To bring your new thoughts to life, put them in writing. Write a contract or statement of intention: I intend to ________ (fill in your goal) by (fill in the date). Then establish milestones: a month out, three months, six months, one year, three years. Then return to the present moment and create an action plan to clarify how you will execute and what resources you will use. Keep your plan simple enough so that it is not overwhelming; that can lead you to take no action at all.

Where can you get the most bang for your buck?

Start by asking yourself three questions:

1. What are the one or two things I need to start doing?
2. What are the one or two things I need to stop doing?
3. What are things I need to continue doing?

The things you need to continue doing will be the easiest and take the least energy. You already have built-up momentum here. You may experience withdrawal symptoms with the behaviors you are trying to stop and a bit of anxiety with the behaviors you are trying to start. This is where you will need to monitor the internal voices more frequently.

Engaging Others

There’s no need to go it alone. Others can help you as you pursue new horizons and work on stilling the evil twin within. Create a change support team or “board of directors.” Identify people who have information that would be helpful, can be supportive in an objective way, have done what you are trying to do, are good listeners, and/or can connect you with others.

Working with a career or life coach gives you a thinking partner. A coach or mentor will provide a safe haven for your concerns, and can be a valuable sounding board for your ideas. Sometimes it simply helps to hear yourself talk through your goals, plans, and concerns with someone else. A coach will be able to listen without judgment and will not be emotionally tied to any particular outcome, as a family member might be. A coach will also challenge you to exhibit new levels of excellence – the gentle push we often need — and will keep you focused on the positive by having you complete various exercises like “list 20 things that you are already fully competent in now.”

Rewarding Yourself

Celebrate successes along the way. Don’t wait until the end. Celebrate a day of thinking constructively! How about that? Psychologists, therapists, coaches, and other practitioners all agree that rewards are a critical component to reinforcing new thought patterns and subsequent behaviors. Identify a half-dozen or so rewards that are meaningful to you and easy to access.

Monitoring and managing our internal monologue can go a long way toward building the confidence we need to move into new territory and shape our own success. By nurturing those thoughts that confirm the creative and resourceful capability within us and selecting to surround ourselves as often as possible with others who reinforce this thinking, we can all reach the point where our evil twin turns into our best friend.

Charmon Parker Williams, Ph.D., an industrial psychologist, is a career and talent management consultant, coach, and contributing writer for Diversity MBA Magazine.

Amidst restructurings, mergers, acquisitions, and global sourcing, many senior careerists now find themselves in the predicament of having to look for employment. Let’s face it, times can be a bit challenging. But there may be a silver lining in all of this. This can be a time for you to reflect on your life, your goals, and the dreams you have swept under the carpet – a time to revisit a change of careers. Are you with me? Let’s take a look at a few tips you will need to keep in mind.

Create a Vision

What is your fantasy career? Musician? Corporate raider? Supreme Court Justice? Back paddle a few strokes to reality. Now move up. This mental exercise will help you create a vision for your next career move from a list of the implausible and the plausible. It enables you to identify what you are passionate about. As you begin to revisit your dreams, you may find some that you have outgrown and others that you have a curiosity about. On your route to seeking a new career, you may find that there are other outlets for you to express some of these dreams.

Explore Opportunities

Talk to friends and friends of friends about what they are doing. Read career profiles of various individuals in magazines and other media. If it sounds like something you might want to do, then get more information on the subject. There are several career sites on the Web that provide this type of information.

What do you have to offer?

Conduct a self-assessment. This is a critical step in any career planning. Conduct an inventory of your strengths and areas for improvement. Think past your current or last job to talents you have demonstrated in other venues – the community, professional organizations, church, home, school, etc. List your strengths and how you have applied them. List any feedback you have received on development needs. You also should list the things you value, are interested in, and want to avoid. It might be revealing to take a personality inventory (e.g., Myers-Briggs) to get a sense of your temperament, style of communication, and how this meshes with various careers. There are numerous career planning assessment tools available. Descriptions of many of these (like the Strong Interest Inventory, which measures your interests in a broad range of occupations, work activities, leisure activities, and academic subjects) can be found at http://www.career-lifeskills.com.

What does your desired role require?

Next, identify the competencies required for the role you are interested in. You may need to do some research to complete this list. Speak to professionals in the role. Look up the job requirements in the Dictionary of Occupational Titles (which provides descriptions of more than 12,000 job titles). Talk to executive recruiters, who specialize in filling these roles, about employers’ expectations. You can find executive search firms by specialty in the Kennedy Guide to Recruiting Firms and other directories.

Analyze the bridges and gaps.

Now look for the points of connection, as well as the gaps between where you are relative to where you need to be. When there is a significant difference between what you are doing now and what you would like to do, you will often find that your connection points are based on broad, transportable skills such as communication, problem solving, or knowledge of a particular industry. The gaps that surface may be based on more specialized areas, such as certification or educational requirements.

In your gap analysis, you may surface the need to go back to school. You may view this as a longer-term strategy, but it may actually help you connect with others in the field you are choosing. Professors may be able to provide you with leads. Alumni may have opportunities for internships. If you don’t think you have time to go to school, think again. Many universities offer weekend and online degree programs.

Write a detailed career action plan.

Write a strategy for how you will get from your current role to your desired role. This strategy should include short-term, long-term, and contingency plans. You may want to enlist the assistance of a career coach at this stage. Your plan should specify individuals or networks that can help you reach your goal. You should also spell out what you are willing and able to give up to reach your goal — for example, a 20 percent decrease in salary, a status/title change, etc.

“But I have no experience. Who’s going to hire me?”

Dip your foot in the pool or at least get it wet. In most cases, you would be absolutely right in your assumption that experience gets the job. But the job is not the only way to get the experience. You may be able to develop the skills you need in other settings while you are in your current position.

For example:

• Volunteer your services to a community, civic, or social organization.
• Conduct committee work within a professional organization.
• Serve on a non-profit board of advisors or directors.

One tactic you may opt to use if your skill set is close but your experience level is off, is to negotiate a trial period with a potential employer in which they leverage your services for less than full salary. How much less will depend on your financial situation. “Try me out with less pay” should only be used if you believe you can come into an organization and quickly add value. Your manager and co-workers will be watching your every move.

Another tactic you will want to use to get your foot in the door is to make yourself visible in forums where professionals in your desired field congregate. This sends the subtle message that you are “one of them.” This includes joining professional organizations and attending conferences. It also includes arranging to make presentations in these forums on topics about which you are knowledgeable and can generalize to your audience’s interest. Writing for magazines or other publications that the target group reads is a related tactic.

Changing careers is a challenging endeavor that requires reflection, direction and persistence. Much of it breaks down to the fine art of networking, image building, and competence. The more your name is known in your desired arena, the higher the odds of you connecting with someone who is willing to give you that first chance.